if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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