Will you blow on my dice?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
