I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
