Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
