We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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