I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Randomize
