I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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