shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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