So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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