so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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