I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
