would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my sisters under your porch take her home
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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