scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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