Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
