this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
