How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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