she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
