I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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