And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
