none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
