My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
