You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
