Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
