This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
