We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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