Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
