I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
