By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
