Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
