ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
