i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
