I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
