I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
