Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
