Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
