their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize