OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
