Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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