There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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