do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
