needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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