why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
