and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
After last night, I could never be a politician.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
