Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
