Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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