coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
