he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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