Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Drunk is a universal language darling
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