i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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