Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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