Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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