drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
