There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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