We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
