Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
