I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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