apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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