On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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