Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize