Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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