Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
