I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
