I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You ruined the universe
Randomize
